Funny how things suddenly become clear to you, as though a fog has lifted.

I've been in a fog of sorts for quite some time, a sugar fog.  Only recently has this dense, gray world begun to disappear.

I've finally come to a place where I feel confident I can stand up to and prevail against the Sugar Monster.  I honestly didn't think it possible, but now I feel like sugar is finally losing its hold on me.  And I'm grateful, relieved... and humbled.

Where I Was

This is a 180-degree turn from the moody, desperate, foggy, sugar saturated person I once was... and have been for, years! Scary that it took me this long to figure out the connection, but better late than never, right?

And once I DID put 2 and 2 together, I wasn't ready to try to battle the Sugar Monster for probably yet another year.  Too fearful - fearful that I would fail. I had to get to a point where I wanted to put health as my focus and wanted it badly enough.

I also needed more stability in my life before I could work on stabilizing my diet.  For the past 10 years my work environment was continually mounting stress on my body.  I worked long hours, crazy shifts, and often experienced a lot of adrenaline-producing events while on the job.  Those crazy shifts - working nights then switching to days and back again - were what got to me.

I've learned that my body doesn't like change.  Unfortunate maybe, but it's the truth. My body likes to be on a schedule, and if that schedule changes, it affects me as a person.  Throwing off my circadian rhythm by working various hours of the day and night, getting little sleep, and eating poorly was like adding fuel to the Sugar Monster.

Sugar was my go-to substance to keep me going when my head was screaming to lie down. It was my comforter when I felt stressed and rundown.  The more processed junk I ate the more I wanted, and the cycle continued until I felt stuck in it.  I then began to crave sugar ALL the time!

Where I Was Heading

Well, obviously things have changed for the better - oh, not that my previous job was horrible or anything!  It just wasn't ideal for my body.  Now I work more "normal" hours.  I get weekends and holidays off.  I get a lunch break for the first time!  This job is not at all stressful.  My body is on a schedule.  I exercise regularly, and I've cleaned up my diet considerably (and having a blog actually does help in meeting those nutrition and fitness goals)!

After mulling around the idea after starting this blog last fall, I decided in Feb that I was ready to face the Sugar Monster and defeat it once and for all. I was at last making a commitment to changing my focus on improving my health.  I was tired of... well, being tired!  I didn't enjoy living in the sugar fog.  I was fed up with being preoccupied with sweets all day long!  I was disgusted with eating junk when I really didn't even enjoy the taste.  Hey, if I'm ever going to eat dessert, it had better be darn high quality!  Yes, I'll be high maintenance when it comes to desserts thank you very much!

I was also scared of the toll sugar might be taking on my health. I wanted to get healthy, in body and mind!  It was time, and I was finally ready. Thus began the deliberate and slow battle between me and the Sugar Monster, and this time I had a plan and was committed to winning.

Where I Am Now

That brings us to the present and back to what I wrote at the beginning of this post. Now by virtue of my being very sensitive to sugar, I'll always need to pay attention to what I feed my body, how it feels, and what it needs.  But it's absolutely worth the extra effort. And working on improving and maintaining health is supposed to be a lifelong journey, is it not?

Life sure is a lot more beautiful and interesting outside of the fog.

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